Curtain Call

Some time ago I eluded to a shop online failure aside from the bamboo place mats.  It was these curtains.

I bought them off of eBay for a cool $20 each. They are a discontinued Waverly from JcPenny. They were probably purchased from the clearance table by an eBay-selling guru for $5 a panel so that Guru could resale to some schmuck at 4 times what they paid.
And I would be that schmuck.
Admittedly, a willing one with psychedelic eyeballs for this fabric.

So these curtains were intended as plan B for the kitchen, back when I was convinced that plan A (Pier 1 Hard Pleated Bamboo Curtain Panels) wasn't going to work. (( ;

So they arrive and may I just give a shout out to my mailman? Every time I get a package too big for the mailbox, my ultra patient, amiable mailman, walks them to my front door, rings the doorbell and waits for me to answer; which doesn't seem like a big deal unless you've seen my dogs when the doorbell rings......
I should have named them Mayhem, Pandemonium and Havoc.

My darling mailman whom between the dogs and the package in his arm, I wouldn't recognize if I stood next to  in the grocery line, politely smiles even though he has admitted he is afraid of ankle biters dogs. He sweetly extends the package that he could have merely left by the garage, with a twinkle in his eye like Santa Claus in one of those Christmas Pepsi commercials. I, by this point am holding and scolding the most vicious looking dog of the 3, kicking at the other 2, wondering why I insist on doing so much online shopping and wrangling to get my hands on said package. 
Just setting the scene as to why the following would be so depressing.

So I get these 4 dazzling panels only to discover that 3 of them are 63" and one of them is 84". I needed all four of them to be 84".

Snivel.Whimper. Cry.

Fortunately, I contacted eBay Guru and she was very apologetic, gracious and honest. She credited me back the money and told me to keep the curtains for fabric. --"Thanks, but there's only one problem with that, Guru.-- This here is a NO SEW zone."
So I got to thinking... This was a few months ago so I've had ample pondering time.
And I ended up taking the panels to a jewel of a  little lady at the fabric store who offers sewing lessons and had her split the 84" and one of the 63" down the middle so that I could treat all three windows in my wanna-be master bath.

There's clapping, two fingered whistles and "Bravo" tracks playing in my head this very moment.

Bliss.

I bought the rods on Rollback at Walmart. The short rods were $8 each and $12 for the longer one. Sew Lady charged $20 for alterations. So for $40 my spa wanna-be is getting just a little more bearable.

There's this window...a big one right by the shower...and it has this vinyl blind...well, just look...

HATE these things!

Check out the tie wraps and packing tape at the top.

It's even hanging wrong side out, which is in and of itself debatable.

There just is no right side.

Desperate.

So this is the after shot.

I put on these pinch clips so that the curtains can easily slide open and closed. (Hopefully we will remember to close when it's shower time!)

I really wasn't sure what to do about toilet's window but I like how it turned out.

The males in this house had better aim right.

And look! I  even found the perfect place for the vinyl, tie wrapped, packing taped shade....